9 Divorceés Share How Long They Waited To Date Again

When it comes to the most stressful life events , researchers rank divorce as number two, right after the death of a spouse or child and before being imprisoned or having a health crisis —and for good reason. It goes without saying that ending a marriage can make you rethink everything you thought you knew about love—and sometimes, even, yourself. In fact, experts say that getting divorced in your 40s, or 50s, can actually improve the quality of your future relationships.

It can help you figure out what you really want in your next partner. Ready to meet people?

I really do want to get married, but I feel like I never want to date again. But God (​as always) seems to have other plans, and He has put a girl in my life that I have​.

Dating is different when you’re at the mid-life stage. It’s not about finding someone to share your firsts with: your first kid, your first home, or your first job promotion. For me, getting back into dating after my nearly year marriage came to an end was about finding someone to share my nexts and lasts with. For the last five years of my first marriage, I was struggling with sadness, frustration, and anger. My husband and I were having serious conflicts about parenting issues.

He was the “good cop” dad, which positioned me as the “bad cop” mom. He also was a homebody who didn’t want me stepping out as a leader, writer, speaker, and career go-getter.